What the hell is up with that?

AKA- Hell…I am sitting in the Oakland International Airport.  I am heading to Hawaii tomorrow morning.  In an attempt to save money we’ve decided to just stick it out in the lobby areas.  I am functioning on about 5 hours of not so great sleep.  I have a head cold.  But the most important thing is….I will be sitting on a white sand beach tomorrow.  I wouldn’t do this for any other reason.

The great thing about airports is you will always know what time it is.  A constant reminder pasted on the wall.  Only ten more hours to go.  Ten more hours to wait.  I can’t imagine what it would be like to be stuck in an airport for days, weeks or even months.  It’s kinda like Vegas but without all the fun stuff.

Bright obnoxious lights, screaming kids that shouldn’t be awake at this hour, food that is way too expensive and way not good, people everywhere coming and going, languages from all around the world singing gently in the air.  The low hum of voices and machines combined are all too conducive to being kept awake.  Not to mention that screaming alarm clock…I mean kid.  I have a few ideas to make airport stays much more pleasant.

A:  Put a movie theatre in.  Of course that would mean being charged $25 for a 2 hour film.  But it would also offer a place to kill time and sleep even.  "No Children Aloud" would be posted on the entry.  Soda and popcorn would be outrageously priced, but all in the name of entertainment.

B:  Manufacture a "sleep" area.  Perhaps small rooms much like those found on a train sleeping car where people can crash out.  Hell a six foot by three foot cube would suffice.  Sound tight, light tight, and more importantly child proof.  Charge for it is your wish. I would pay two dollars an hour to sleep right now and get away from the little people.  (I know, but I won’t pay for a hotel room…I do refuse to pay eighty dollars for 6 hours of use.)

C:  Put a casino in the very center.  If you’re gonna feel like your in a time lapse, then give us entertainment.  Let me play some poker or make more money off of me. 

D:  Just get rid of the kids.  That would probably take care of most of the problem.  They’re everywhere.  Better yet build a gigantic playroom that is sound proof and let them loose in it.  I think everyone would be a happy camper then. 

That sums up my suggestion card.  Now to sum up the rest (why I am going to Hawaii).  Because I can.  I am this close and don’t really have anything better to do.  I think not trying to live there would be a little silly at this juncture in my life.  (Please give the kid some damn milk or a friggin bot bot!)  Anyway, life is short.  Git r done.

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